Today I have woken up hopeful. Maybe I can find happiness. Maybe I can accept that I will hardly have any friends. I am not a popular person. But does that make me a bad person? Some days I’ll answer yes to that question and some days I’ll think to myself  ‘I must be a bad horrible cow, because no one likes me.’ But today I don’t think that’s true. If the ‘friends’ I thought I had have left me over small things, such as not having sex with them or not saying yes to being their girlfriend, maybe they were never worth my time. 

It’s just a shame that days where I think and feel like this don’t last or come around often. 

I know I’m going to live my life with this mental disorder, but I don’t know a life without it. So I have no idea what I’m missing out on. 

I will wake up every morning fighting the thoughts and voices in my head, most likely till the day I die. But till I die I need to find something that’ll keep me going. 

Something to fuel my hope. 


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