Now I am not saying this to flatter myself or ‘float my own boat’. But I do honestly get a few guys either randomly really wanting to date me and have sex with me. Or Inalso get guys asking me to be their girlfriend. 

Now don’t get me wrong I know if you truly feel that way it’s hard to admit your true feelings to someone. But I struggle to believe that anyone can love me. I don’t see the appeal and how someone can ever love a person like me. 

However there is someone I like. Now I can’t see him for at least another 8 months. And I can’t seem to move on from him. I’m actually going to have to wait for him. Wether I or anyone else likes it or not. I feel like I’m in limbo almost. There is something that is stopping me from walking away from him. So why keep forcing myself to. After 13 months of trying to walk away I am giving in. And I shall wait. 

So the few who come to me telling me they love me, will either have to wait till I know what’s happening with me and him, which I don’t actually want you to do. I’d never ask someone to ‘wait’ for me to love you back. Because then how is that love? I just see that as me slowly learning and forcing myself to love you in that kind of way. And people deserve better than that. 

Trust me it annoys me just as much as it probably annoys you that I can’t stop liking him. And I’m sorry if I’ve hurt your feelings. 

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