I cut my self this morning. 

And when the razor blade slices my skin, it feels good. I feel better. 

I sigh in relief, I welcome the pain. Then I watch the blood slow, until it stops completely. And I have to do it again, but deeper so that the pain will last longer. I rely on this too much I know. And one day I’ll cut too deep. But maybe that wouldn’t be such a bad thing. 

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