So my mum and dad went their separate ways. And in came ‘the man she left my dad for’ let’s just call him Mr E (e for evil)  

To say me and my sister hated him would be an understatement. 

Here is what you need to know about him:

  1. He controlled everything and anything 
  2. He was always right
  3. His way or no way 
  4. Quick to anger 
  5. He’s a ‘nice guy’ (that’s the quote he spends his life saying) 
  6. Mum should cover up her body and do all the house work
  7. Oh and so should the kids while he dose 0%  
  8. Your best is never good enough

I can’t list the names he called me. Well I can I just don’t want to. 

I know what I’ve been through isn’t as bad as what it could’ve been. Or nearly as bad as what others have been through but it still hurts . It hurts me more than you can imagine.
There was this one time where I was around 13 wars old and my younger sister (let’s call her Lay) went down stairs to talk to her father (Mr E) 

[Yes my mother had this mans child]

Now I was sat on my bed with head phones in when I could hear shouting, this was a usual thing in our household. Me being nosey, I quietly left the room to go listen. I was discreetly leaning over the banasters so that I could hear what they were saying. They were arguing over Lay doing enough work. 

And he just lost it, as he usually does. 

Mr E: GET UP STAIRS NOW AND DO IT!

Lay: NO! I’ve been working all day and I just wanna go bed. *the moment Mr E snaps completely* 

All I see next is her turn and try to run up the stairs, but we have a baby gate at the bottom as we have a dog and she trips on the first step and started fumbling with the lock as he takes his belt off, I hear her shout “NO! I’LL GO UP AND DO IT NOW! No please!” and he hits her. Again and again and again. And I do nothing but watch. Because I am selfish and think ‘stay quite or it’ll be you next’ 

She slowly walks up the stairs and I ask the stupid question ‘are you okay?’ 

She doesn’t even cry any more 

Lay: “yeah I’m used to it now.”

She was 7 years old. And I didn’t help, I never did. I was never as brave as my older sister Victoria. She always defended me and stuck up for me and I hate that I was too scared to do it for Lay. 

It’s on my list of reasons why I hate myself 

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2 thoughts on “Ugly past part 2 

  1. i can’t help myself… i need to say ~you were also a child~ i don’t know if i would have been any braver. when you are young your reality is small and it seems impossible to change. i just hope you can forgive yourself.

    Like

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