So my dad was about 21 when I was born. The same age I am now. He was around 18 or 19 when my older sister was born. She was very loved and from what I’ve heard my dad could handle one child, but then I came along. Surprise! Now I’m not saying I wasn’t loved, because I was and I still am. However I made things even harder for my dad. He wouldn’t come home, he’d wanna party and go out and enjoy his youth. He also stopped being his usually ‘huggy’ self. When I say huggy I mean he was always hugging my older sister (let’s say her names Victoria.) but after I was born it was like a light went out, I changed things. And then eventually my mother looked for attention else where. 

It was the typical father stays out late and leaves the mother all alone at home so she gets bored and bla bla bla. I’m sure you hear that a lot. So they go their separate ways (I was around 2yrs old) but he’s a father that loves his kids so we see him every weekend and split the holidays. 
I remeber the first time he properly hugged me, I would say I was around 8yrs old. And he just came up and hugged me, it was very strange for him to just do this, and I loved it. So that night Victoria and I are in bed and she says “did dad hug you today?” And I reply with something along the lines of ‘Yeah! It was so odd but it was nice’ 

She replies me too. And that was that. He started hugging us again. 

Now I’m not saying saying before that moment he never even hugged us or showed us fatherly love. He would show it in his own way. He’d play with us and give us a pat on the back or wrap one arm around us, sort of thing. 

Maybe I’m lookin more into what happened than I should but hey ho 🤷🏼‍♀️  I just find it easier to connect with my mother more than I do with my father.
I thought I’d ease into my story and not go full blast on the sad and slightly horrible stuff. 

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